...and I won't repeat the more pessimistic "2020-too" jokes I've seen floating around online.
Are you making resolutions for the new year? I don't really make a big deal out of that for the sake of the holiday, but then again, I make "mini-resolutions" all the time.
It's mostly just little things, though.
It's interesting to see what happens when you do something different or new for a week, a month, a year...
It can seem pointless to look at little things, but they can drive you nuts -- a pebble in your shoe, a slow leak in a tire, a password you always forget and have to reset again and again.
Little things can smooth out your day without life having to be perfect. It's why I oil my bike chain regularly, so that I don't feel the grit or hear the squeaking when I pedal.
I remember when I was a bike messenger in San Francisco (...whoa... that was like 25 years ago...), feeling so put-upon by the world after the first couple months of work. I was pretty clueless and young, probably dirtier and smellier than I realized at the time.
I used to average something like 50 pick-ups and deliveries every day. The work was all on commission, per delivery, and I was broke. The city was expensive. People were constantly rude in all the fancy offices I was running in and out of -- security guards, receptionists, court clerks, cops on the street, bus drivers...
People always seemed so short and sharp with me, and I just wanted to throw it all back at them. It ate at me. I was always angry. It was exhausting.
There was probably something I read, I'm not sure, but it occurred to me to just try and be pleasant and polite all day long, like in a DETERMINED way. I decided to stick to it for a few days, a week maybe.
Does this sound stupid or ridiculous? I'm kind of laughing to myself as I write this...
Anyway, the results kind of shocked me, especially with the security guards and court clerks. They had been particularly rude and dismissive, but if I could keep myself together, stay pleasant and polite regardless of the response, it was like I could "break" the bad attitude. Things would suddenly feel neutral and reasonable. Sometimes even friendly.
Even when people were still rude, it didn't piss me off anymore. I'd walk away feeling like I'd won a competition, for who could be the better person in the moment.
Does this sound cheesy? Or just obvious? I'm still laughing at myself -- I remember, it felt like I'd discovered a super power.
Anyway, when I hear people talk about New Year's resolutions, it's usually sarcastic, a running joke. There are all of the things you "should" be doing that you're not. There are all the things that you WANT to be different, that don't ever seem to change. You'll start something and drop it by February, right?
I know how that is. I want so many things sometimes.
Something else I read, that I check myself with: it doesn't matter what you "want" to change -- "wanting" evaporates and you just wonder where the motivation went. You have to DECIDE to change, and the decision is only real if you demonstrate it, act on it, even with the smallest of consistent actions.
Of course, you're always deciding, right? I mean, not making a conscious decision just moves you further along to wherever you're already headed, by your existing habits and routines...
That ended up sounding more ominous than I intended. Don't mind me; I just gotta remind myself to stay on track sometimes.
I hope you decide to keep yourself on track this year...