I won’t complain about the rain, even though going outside is SO much more of a hassle now.
I’ve got my gore-tex shoes. I’ve got rain jackets. I only use the rain pants if I’m biking and it’s absolutely pouring. I never walk with an umbrella.
I’m going to get sort-of-wet, not soaked. Not too chilled until I stop moving.
It’s a lot easier to sit inside, be cozy and get things done when the weather’s like this. I make a point to at least walk up into the hills a bit when there’s nowhere I need to go.
The views are spectacular late in the day. The rain pauses, the clouds are thick and black-blue, maybe a layer of white whisps hangs low.
Sun slips light underneath and trees across the city blaze, in yellow and browning reds. The peaks in the distance are white and sharp.
I pick persimmons off of people’s trees and munch as I move along. The ones I can reach are almost gone. Streets are slippery with mushed-up leaves.
There’s a part of me that wants to just hibernate, eat soup and sleep, laze around online and feel like my mind’s in the larger world even if I don’t step outside.
There’s a bigger part of me that can’t relax until I’ve made myself uncomfortable enough or exhausted enough that I feel like I’ve earned it.
That’s not most profound internal struggle to have, but it does remind of a parable (or “memetic legend,” as I saw it described online). Someone told me it was a Buddhist thing, someone else wrote that it’s a Native American story. Whichever:
Inside you are two wolves, always fighting.
One is made up of all the qualities you aspire to, to be the person you want to be, the person you think you should be, and the action it would take to make that real.
The other is made up of all the drives and impulses you want to indulge in and default to. It's not worried about "shoulds," or good vs. bad, or any vision of being "better."
The fight is constant, consuming, distracting. It can’t just go on forever, can it? One of them must be stronger. One will have to win, or win more often than not. Which one?
The one you FEED...
I hope you’re able to dry off after things get wet. I hope you’re able to warm up after you’ve been chilled.